Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
