i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
