Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
