there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
