good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
