Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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