You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
