well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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