C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
birth control should be required to get into college
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
