Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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