drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
