I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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