It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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