Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
