i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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