I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
