i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Randomize
