I'm eating all of the evidence.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
