ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
