Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
