summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
