i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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