That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
3 2 1 whiskey
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
