is your mom at the bar?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
