I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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