I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
