its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
