There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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