It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
