I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
