you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
