Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize