No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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