is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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