i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
