I want to stick my p in your. b.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Let's get the cat blown out
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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