you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
