Don't you send me to vm
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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