worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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