He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
