Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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