wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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