11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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