I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
