I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Actions speak louder than pants.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
