if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm like, not good at living.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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