I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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