I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
