i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
