I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
