We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
